SHADES OF HYPERGRAPHIA

Finn At The Inn

2006-08-21T06:34:00.000-05:00

A couple of months ago, an intern started her tenure at my workplace. A 23 year old hottie from Finland and all of the boys are ga-ga over her. I'm one of those boys. But I'm married and a good boy, so instead of flirting with her shamelessly, I went about the process of just being her friend. She'd come in looking marvelous, and I'd ask her questions about her homeland. She'd arrive looking delectable and I'd tell her anecdotes about my kids. Quickly, we have found ourselves as tight as any two people at work. The other dudes fall all over themselves to impress her, but it's me she seeks out for our daily hug. Sweet.

I was thinking about this and talking with a friend about it. Of course, I have a huge crush on the Finn. In fact, for the first month or so I could see how after four years of marriage, this was my first real recognized temptation. Although my marriage is not perfect, my commitment to fidelity is strong. Good thing. Thankfully, I am aware of the possibilities of infidelity and keep myself in check. But being the analytical sort, it's been interesting and fun to watch how I handle myself in such situations. And so, I acknowledge the crush and go about my life being good and paying attention.

Anyway, after spending a lot of time with my Finnish friend, I came to a realization about what my crush is all about. I am thirty-six years old, thirteen years older than her. As hot and lovely as she is, I think my infatuation with her has more to do with her age than anything else. It's not so much that I want to have sex with her - I just want to be twenty-three again. My memories from my early twenties are fantastic. My back never hurt for no good reason and I was in the best shape of my life despite the abundance of cigarettes and alcohol. I was seeing concerts and shows most nights and the world most certainly appeared to be my oyster. And now a twenty-three year old with that same youthful energy is giving me the time of day and I'm like an amateur sociologist, studying the social behaviors of people who are not too old to be cast on shows like MTV's The Real World.

Once I realized this, I had to laugh. It put things into perspective and I see our friendship for what it is. There are no more concerns about the possible temptations. The crush phase is over. She's still drop-dead gorgeous and the light of the workplace and I love what our continued daily hugs do to the envious twenty year old lotharios among us, but she's become more of a sister to me. I invited her over to my apartment last night to meet my family and watch American football (McDonald's and television - an All-American experience, indeed).

After I took her home, my wife said that she liked her and that she was very nice. I agreed with her and shared with her my little analysis from above. I can talk to my wife about a previous crush and receive no scorn. One of the many things I love about my wife is that I can share thoughts like that with her and not worry about ugly jealousies. She trusts me and has a very easy going way of looking at most things in life. She knows that I am more of an observer than a doer. And she knows that I'm a gentleman.

At thirty-six, I have made friends with a twenty-three year old beauty. And it's not her pants I want to get into, it's her age. Funny. Something tells me that when my midlife crisis finally hits, it'll be relatively smooth. I'll just reflect and write about it.

All Wet

2006-08-18T14:04:00.000-05:00

Of course,

2006-08-18T00:50:00.000-05:00

everytime I take a half-nekkid self pic, I'd really rather be taking pictures of a half-nekkid female instead.

Oh well.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

2006-08-18T00:31:00.000-05:00

Three videos from my new fave sexblog. And yes indeed, I am very nice to share.

HNT - Judge A Man By His Shoe Size, Will Ya?

2006-08-16T23:23:00.000-05:00

(And, as usual, NSFW junk is in the click.)

We men are so touchy about these things. I try not to think too much about it. I mean, it's not like I can do anything about the size anyway. Abs and arms are controllable; penis, not so much. Most girls know better than to risk hurting a man's ego with the truth, but one open girl I used to date had no qualms about telling me that I fit well within the "average" mark. Not much girth, but long enough. I have always appreciated her honesty. I mean, she was naked by my side so that was compliment enough for me.

My wife complains at times of the discomfort suffered at times when I hit against her cervix. (I took it as a compliment until I learned that it has more to do with the placement of the cervix than the length of the penis.) So, anyway, I tend to hold back a bit when we are together so as not to hear my beautiful wife say, "Ow!" I'd like to hear her talk more in bed, but that's not one of the words I long to hear her say.

On the same topic of penis size, she told me of a fight that a coworker had with her husband recently. She could feel that he was about to go somewhere in the argument that she didn't like, so she cut him off at the pass and exclaimed, "Well, I could say that you have a small dick, but I don't!"

That poor woman hasn't had sex in weeks since that little incident. She even tried, at the advice of friends, to attack him while he was asleep. It didn't work. We can pretty much forgive anything if it means sex for us, but that's the touchiest of places for criticism. I'm pretty laid back about it, but I think I'd be cutting her off for a while too after hearing those words.

Have a nice day. And Happy HNT!

Fine. I'll Do It Myself.

2006-08-13T01:35:00.000-05:00

...but I was really hoping that someone would have sex with me. That's OK. I'll do it.

No, I Do Not Like Your Hat

2006-08-11T06:41:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, if you had told me that I would say no to a request of basic friendship from a lady who refers to herself as KinkyMonica, I would have told you to shut your face.

But that would have been before the days of myspace. I say no to girls like this all of the time now.

Life Can Be Hard As Hell

2006-08-11T01:40:00.000-05:00

Long day of not making much came to a close and...

my car died on me on the way home...

on the one day (seriously) that I forgot my cell phone at home...

I was able to get word to a friend who tinkered minimally and got things fixed...

temporarily (?) I hope not...

getting home, I see from my wife that my work check was short this week...

I get to deal with H.R. tomorrow about that...

and we are still waiting for the house we sold to close...

while we keep paying rent in our apartment.

Financially tighter than ever, I just want my good intentions to be enough in life.

But that was never promised in the first place, so I won't whine about that.

I sure could use a big, fat check to come out of nowhere right now.

Bonus Due To Boredom - Still Water

2006-08-10T13:26:00.000-05:00

HNT - Hydrate

2006-08-10T01:58:00.000-05:00

I guess the H in HNT stands for Hydrate today. It's hot everywhere these days. Water will keep us healthy, it will keep our bodies safe from heat exhaustion, and it is good for our skin. And we all know how much we want our skin to look good for HNT.

HHNT to all!

Skin Again

2006-08-07T10:34:00.000-05:00

Music Always In My Head

2006-08-07T02:17:00.000-05:00

Silhouette with Favorite Hat

Looking To The King

What's So Great About Fresno, CA?

2006-08-03T12:51:00.000-05:00

I have a few friends from the west coast who seem to enjoy talking down about Fresno. But I have one long lost friend named Sarita from there who is very cool and she loves it there.

From blogging, I have run across some very cool people whose profiles show them to be from there as well. And if I recall correctly, I listened to a Fresno based radio station online for a while (lost the link, though).

So, Fresno folks. What do you love about your city?

HNT - An Inspired Return

2006-08-02T23:14:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems that Os has gone and gotten himself in trouble with the law.
Don't you sweat it, sir.
I'll do your time for you.
Now while you're a free man,
you just make sure that you keep this HNT thing going.
[Edit to add: Wow.Those are some nice comments. I would like to say to the ladies that you may fill in your names on the conjugal visits form and wait patiently for your number to be called. Thank you.]

Eddie Van Halen, Nice Work If You Can Get It

2006-08-02T08:53:00.000-05:00

I am listening to "Dirty Movies" from 1981's Fair Warning. It just seems appropriate after reading that he is contributing music for a porn movie directed by friend, Michael Ninn.

Here's the story link.

The Day Takes Me

2006-08-02T01:11:00.000-05:00

I want to be more. Or I want to be less.

It depends on when you ask.

I want to be what makes you become

a better person.

Or I just want affection.

Mattering is the key.

The Truth

2006-08-01T08:10:00.000-05:00

Eating food I don't want
At a place I wouldn't recommend
Three to four nights a week
But only the nights that a certain waitress works.

There's the pull
For me
Behind every action
There seems to be a woman.

Innocent crushes mold my
days.
Push me and pull me
And don't hesitate for thought.

And now there's another
The Finn
Thirteen years my junior
Wind at her beautiful back.

Drudgery at home and
Something I can't define
at work.
And I am a misfit in the making.

Alone With Self Timer

2006-07-30T22:47:00.000-05:00

I Do It To Myself

2006-07-30T01:27:00.000-05:00

Drudgery abounds.

Date night at The Olive Garden.

A trip to the sex shop is far from sexy.

But everything's gonna be alright.

Are You Kidding Me?

2006-07-28T08:46:00.000-05:00

A wife whose husband shared a three-in-a-bed romp with a British WPC said last night: “I’ve forgiven him.”

Carolyn Hunter said she blamed the women who “lured” him into bed.

(click for the rest of the story)

Blog Abandonment

2006-07-28T00:02:00.000-05:00

I just don't think I have much to put here nowadays.

Maybe I just need to take a break from the blog for a bit.

Thanks for reading and thanks for stopping by.

These jets have cooled.

For now anyway.

Be well.

Very Interesting Development With A New Coworker

2006-07-24T01:46:00.000-05:00

She looks like Lili Taylor

but with Rene Zellweger eyes.

And her smile is infectious while her whole being is luminous.

I am smitten, but I am a good boy.

But it appears that she may be a bit smitten, too.

Uh-oh.

In The Alley

2006-07-23T11:42:00.000-05:00

A few years ago, I struck up a conversation with the lady at the door at my fave blues club. She had about ten years on me, but we were going to fuck in the backseat of her car a few weeks later. Right there in the parking garage near the club.

But this night, I stayed until the club closed and she asked me if I wanted to hang out next door with her. Next door was my fave strip club, so I said sure. Drunkenly, we ambled over and said our hellos to some familiar dancers. It was about to close and was a bit dead, but we were welcomed in a state that makes me miss my days before worry and obligations.

We took our seats in the long booth against the wall and talked and drank. It's weird now, but seemed pretty normal at the time. She called her daughter on her cell phone and asked her if she was still downtown. Her daughter said yes and so she told her to come on down to where we were. Sometime in the next half hour, I found myself sitting next to my blues club friend in a strip club while her daughter and her son-in-law were right there with us. They were talking family gossip while my friend and I were rubbing against each other. And the dancers were friendly, too.

Two hours later and a cab ride home, I was asleep alone in my bedroom. It was a nice night.

Another, Because I'm Drunk

2006-07-23T01:28:00.000-05:00

OK, One Picture

2006-07-23T01:25:00.000-05:00

The Latest

2006-07-23T01:00:00.000-05:00

Four mini bottles of White Zin down (wine snobs, shut it) and discussions of political and social relevance with my oldest child, and the night air is good.

No pics and no talk of sex here tonight. I'm just glad that I figure into such a good group of familial occupants.

Just throwing that out there. Peace to all of the readers out there. I think you are doing just fine in life.

Sixty Minutes Of Slumber (Now With Pics)

2006-07-21T11:10:00.000-05:00

That rare and beautiful thing is in my very near future. I'm going to take a late morning nap before I go into work today.

Starting. Now.

Juvenile, but dramatic gesture. For no good reason.

Warning. Bare ass within the click.

I'm A Bad Boy

2006-07-21T00:37:00.000-05:00

...and I like to show my junk. But you will have to click for it.

Just The Right Size

2006-07-20T10:15:00.000-05:00

This Love Is Strong

2006-07-17T11:16:00.000-05:00

Back from vacation and back to reality, I happily think back to Thursday night. I arrived in the little beach town to be with my family. After a few hours of catching up and socializing with in-laws, my wife and I left the kids with her mom and got a room at a local hotel. Since our first child was born three years ago, this might have been our first night alone together. And it was fantastic.

We talked and bonded, absent of little and large stresses. She wore her sexy negligee and completely gave herself to me. Lying back on the hotel bed, she was all mine. We were loving and we were dirty, no shame between lovers. It was all about emotional trust and physical pleasure. Once again, I revisited her fantasy of adding another woman to our bed, testing the waters to gauge how real this fantasy was. Thinking about it still takes her to new and wonderful places and she is sure that she wants to really experience it.

I touched her and whispered in her ear how I imagined that being played out: me kissing her and fondling her from above while our mystery guest played with and pleasured her from below. I never get very far in this narrative before she is balled up with her knees drawn up to her chest and her thighs are squeezing my hand between them. She wants this and it is up to me to make this happen.

To think that I sometimes complain about the sex being decidedly vanilla and too infrequent. Thinking of how things could spice up in the near future just bowls me over. She is quite everything to me and I look forward to everything that we share together in life.

Vacation is over and we are home again. We are back to some of the daily stresses and exhaustion that working for a living can bring. But our night away together is still fresh in my mind and the love is stronger than ever.

Drunken Behavior At 2:02 A.M.

2006-07-13T02:05:00.000-05:00

I sit shirtless in my quiet fortress of solitude, drunk and feeling it. I just hope that I don't oversleep and miss my flight.

I know that my friend Berk would be a great friend to have with me right this minute. We would read Buk together and drink correctly. Waits is playing in the background and I am fulfilled, sated. Drunk.

This blog will be dead and unattended for a week or so. I have a date with sand between my toes.

Back To The Nekkidness

2006-07-11T04:54:00.000-05:00

Sacrifices And Solitude

2006-07-11T04:22:00.000-05:00

I'm both sad and at a loss for words. I can't explain why I feel the way I do. Providing for a loving family might just take more than I have. Full work weeks just don't seem to cut it. I just keep working - and taking it - and we only struggle so much more.

I won't be buying tickets for my fave artist and I will be rethinking my whole occupational place in this world. This one ain't cutting it. And I'm not sure which one will. Think...think...think.

Where Do You Find It?

2006-07-08T13:00:00.000-05:00

Despite appearances, this is where I am content with my solitude. The TV is on its last legs and that troubles the TV watcher in the family. But I don't even turn it on. It's all about music for me. I come home from work and go online and listen to college radio stations from around the country, listening for new sounds to both soothe and excite me.

I like the sound of emptiness. It's a bit comforting to know that I won't be challenged by the noises of ego and competitiveness. I leave all that behind at work. I come home and am at peace in the silence. This is my meditation. This is my yoga.

This music that I listen to right now takes me to places worlds away from my current habitat. I see the sand of the desert beneath me as I gracefully float above it. People look up and smile. They know that I have found transcendence. They know that they will find it one day too. I smile back and drift on. I drift on and everywhere I go, I spread peace - if only for a moment. But it reminds people why they shouldn't fight. I'm like a superhero in a world with no conflict.

Where do you find your peace?

Moved In, Now I Can Rest (And Play)

2006-07-07T11:36:00.000-05:00

A Blogger's Quickie

2006-07-05T22:43:00.000-05:00

Well, the move was a success, which is not to say that it went well. I just mean that it is done. No one showed up to help and so it was left up to my wife, my teen son, and I. The contents of the typical three bedroom home is 8,000 pounds. My son and I can now say that we are very strong men. And my wife organized it all while watching our two littlest and thus is officially one of the most amazing people I know.

I should get back to regular posting in the next couple of days. But for now, I'm just trying to get back to a routine of sorts.

Thanks for stopping in. I'm going to bed.

I Think I Speak For Everyone When I Say...

2006-07-01T17:34:00.000-05:00

...moving sucks!

More later. Carry on.

Posting To Post

2006-06-29T18:33:00.000-05:00

The move is brutal, but all is going as well as a move can go. I may be out of pocket for a few days.

I can't wait to get back into the groove. Have a sexy weekend!

Stories From The Front Desk

2006-06-28T11:55:00.000-05:00

Man: Checking in.

Employee: Yes sir. What is your name, please?

Man: It's _______.

Emp: (typing and searching) I don't see anything under that name.

Man: (irate in a heartbeat) You mean to tell me that you don't see my name?

Emp: No sir. I'm sorry. Could it have been reserved under another name by chance?

Man: Why would it be... Um, no. It could not. (muttering) Everytime...

Emp: Well sir, do you have your confirmation number? Your name might just be misspelled. The confirmation number will help...

Man: How can you misspell _______? (reaching into attache for papers) Here. (stands back a few steps defiantly) Here's my reservation. You find my confirmation number.

Emp: (looking at papers and handing them back to the man) Sir, this is for another hotel. You have reservations for ______ tonight.

Man: (takes papers and has a look, mutters) Three cities in four nights. This life is ridiculous.

He grabs his things and walks away to the parking lot. No apology to the girl behind the desk. Just walks off into the night. Experience tells me that he will arrive at the correct hotel complaining to its front desk agent about how it's impossible to find its location.

Oh well. Another night. We shrug it off and start again today.

Locker Room Snaps

2006-06-28T01:56:00.000-05:00

"Freeze!" (My weapon of choice.)

I am usually resolute and cautious. I need to control my environment...

...but a part of me just wants to submit and obey.

Nerve Just Gets Sexier And Sexier

2006-06-27T12:50:00.000-05:00

I happily embedded that last video so that you could get a quick thrill and so that I could get a month of free Nerve Premium. Oh, how I covet Nerve Premium.

Now, I read deeper and see that if 5 of my friends do the same, I will get a year of it. If 25 of my friends do it, I get a Nerve T-shirt. Well, I'm shooting for 5. That seems reachable.

So go embed a Nerve Video onto your site and follow the instructions below. This is looking to be a nice and sexy year, indeed.

On a side note, I'm not going to wear underwear today. There's that naughty smile...;)

FREE PREMIUM SUBSCRIPTIONS

Join the Nerve Video Outreach Team

If you are not a filmmaker, you can still be a part of the Nerve Video team by spreading the word about our videos. If you embed a Nerve Video on your own site or Myspace or Friendster page, we'll give you a free month of Nerve Premium. All you have to do is click on the "Embed" tab on the video's page, and paste the html on your site. Get five of your friends to post a video, and you'll get a year of Premium. Get 25 friends to post a video, and we'll send you a Nerve T-shirt. (Click here for more instructions.) Fifty or more videos = nude massage from Nerve staff member of your choice. Kidding on that one. Mostly. But if you think you can get lots of people to post them or have other creative ideas for outreach, please do be in touch: video@nerve.com

French Maid TV

2006-06-27T09:53:00.000-05:00

Looks like nerve.com knows the way to my heart. And they get all of my love.

This comes from my newest favorite add to their site: nerve video.

Watch it and feel it. And smile a naughty smile.

This Man Feels Good

2006-06-27T08:37:00.000-05:00

I'm just throwing this out there, but I want to say that the sex these past two nights has not only been present, it's been perfect.

Some would write books or songs about such love and passion. I can't find the words right now, though. It's just a smoky mix of skin-on-skin and shy perversions topped with trust and love.

Carry on.

Hermitage?

2006-06-25T13:37:00.000-05:00

Someone's reading from Hermitage? That's pretty close to home.

Feel free to say hi.

I'm curious.

Sometimes It's Easier To Be Diffident

2006-06-25T09:12:00.000-05:00

Today, for as long as possible, I will be no one for anyone. I'm watching bits and pieces of The Howlin' Wolf Story on television. I'm in boxer briefs and a wifebeater t-shirt.

I may or may not go downtown and try to take some pictures, but it's a hazy day and not conducive to good shots. It just depends on how much I want an excuse to not do anything.

("Your old lady is so skinny, she's got to tie some knots in her legs to make some knees." - Bo Diddley, "Say Man, Back Again")

I'm in a weird mood. I'm restless. I woke up thinking about some of my more kinky past experiences. And now I'm surfing around looking for writings on dominatrixes and the lifestyle. A local blogger-turned-columnist recently wrote a humor piece on swingers (from her vantage point as an innocent, naive housewife). While she did succeed at being funny, she really missed the opportunity to make a really good article on our local swingers scene. Instead of really mingling with swingers, she (and her husband) just sat in their car in the parking lot outside a club and commented on the "surprisingly normal" clothes that everyone was wearing. Oh well. It was what it was.

My fave experience at a swing club was with a woman who played the role of dominatrix. I was hers. She slowly stripped me privately and played with me while her hubby watched from across the private room. She got such a thrill out of pulling and pinching at my nipples and spanking my bare ass as I stood before her. I knew her for only about an hour or so, but here I am still thinking of that moment from so many years ago.

Well, I guess I'll get out of the house today after all. Library DVDs are due, so that's a good excuse to go downtown and lope about.

Have a nice day.

I See Sex Everywhere

2006-06-24T08:35:00.000-05:00

Parking Cars And Flirting With Girls

2006-06-24T02:25:00.000-05:00

Tonight was hellacious. It was busy and the people were angry. And I can't say I blame them. Without giving away too many site specific details, I can say that parking at our hotel this weekend is quite scarce. We have a big group in and we have roped off an entire section of it just for them. Cool. They are bringing lots of business our way and it makes sense for their needs. We are also sprucing up another area of the parking lot and it is roped off while improvements are under way. Cool. Improvements are always a good thing. But these two things at the same time don't leave much room for other guests. We employees are parking in a neighboring lot to help out, but it still leaves guests with a longer-than-they-like walk from their cars to the front entrance.

And so we are offering to park all cars for free. Another group is a family reunion. They are all coming in with their coolers and their grocery bags of snacks and their suitcases and their duffles and the flow is slow. We unload their bags, take them to their room (which takes forever b/c they stop to chat with people every few steps), come back down to park their car, weigh the decision to either park that car immediately to get it out of the front entrance or help the next guest who also needs help. All. Night. Long.

This was a slow but tolerable enough scenario until we literally ran out of spaces and had to start creating parking spots wherever we could find them. Filling out valet tickets was like writing short stories.

Typical:
Name - Jones
Make - Black Sable
Space - #6
Initials - MB

Tonight:
Name - Jones
Make - Black Sable
Space - Out side entrance to the right and behind the event meeting area, just past the kitchen storage and parked by the grass facing the apartment complex with the construction project going on.
Initials - MB

Oh well. Another night in the hospitality industry.

The fun part of the night came in the form of a very cool couple who I decided were swingers. The guy was a ridiculously good tipper and drove a Mercedes. His female companion was drop dead sexy. Long blond hair, short white skirt, aqua top. She was a bit flirtatious with me, but definitely had bedroom eyes for my buddy. It was fun to watch. He told me that while he was talking to the good tipper, she walked by and gently grabbed his ass. And I did notice her give him some very forward eye contact.

On a later occasion, the man made a point of introducing her to my friend. And then he asked my friend what time his shift was over. I'm not sure what their relationship was, but it seemed like they were lovers. And the way that he made a point of introducing them just felt like something was up. It's likely that they were talking about my friend as a good candidate for some naughty fun later on.

My contact with her was more innocent but fun nonetheless. I came back into the lobby from my dinner break and she saw me and asked me a question.

Her: Hey, do you know where I can find a ladder?

Me: A ladder?

Her: Yes. A ladder.

Me: You need a ladder?

Her: (holding up a cigarette) Yes. Do you have a ladder?

Me: Oh! A lighter!

Her: (laughing with me) You thought I said a "ladder?"

Me: Yes.

Her: I wonder what I would have needed a ladder for.

Me: Well, I guess you could have gotten high.

Her: That would be one way to do it, I suppose.

She and I laughed a lot together at that. Probably the least "handbook" interaction I have had with a guest in a long time, but it was well rewarded. I pulled out my lighter and lit her cigarette for her. And I got the bedroom eyes my friend got earlier. Nice.

The Last HNT - It's Been a Blast!

2006-06-21T19:13:00.000-05:00

Warning: Clicking on all but the last of these pics will bring you to some very graphic substitutes.

Shyness is out the window tonight. Happy HNT to everyone!

I hope you like what you see and thanks for stopping by.

You Always Remember Your First

2006-06-21T01:50:00.000-05:00

If all goes according to plan, we will be able to buy an iPod for me in a few weeks. It will be the 30GB model with a nice color video screen. I'm 37 years old and giddy.

For the past week or so, I have been thinking of how I will enjoy filling up as much space as possible and always having great music by my side and in my ears. But tonight while listening to WRVU, I thought about how important it is to choose the absolute best song to put on there and listen to first. I know my first movie, I know my first record album, and I know my first CD. I'll have to choose carefully. My taste is quite eclectic - indier than thou, I have been dubbed - so it won't be anything by obvious greats (The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, etc.).

Right now, I am listening to "Orange Sky" by Alexi Murdoch. Five minutes ago, I had never heard of him. But he may make the cut. Whatever I decide, it's fun to think about.

What song or artist or band would you choose for your first? First listen, that is.

Know The Score

2006-06-19T01:23:00.000-05:00

Infidelity - 0
Me - 1

The woman I said no to was quite sexy. And I said no very easily.

So far, so good.

Too Busy Reading To Blog

2006-06-18T02:52:00.000-05:00

Tom Robbins On Redheads

2006-06-16T11:15:00.000-05:00

Redheads (excerpt)

What is your mission among us, you daughters of ancient Henna, you agents of the harvest moon? Are those star maps that your freckles replicate? How do you explain the fact that you live longer than the average human? Where did you get such sensitive skin? And why are your curls the same shade as heartache?

For the whole thing, pick up Wild Ducks Flying Backward, The Short Writings of Tom Robbins. He's one of the best. And his love for writing is infectious.

Breaking My Own Rules

2006-06-12T12:47:00.000-05:00

I put my last post back to draft. I had broken my own recent rule about what I post here. Because I love my wife so much, I don't feel comfortable publishing my frustations about details of the marriage. I just found myself a bit mad about something the other night and vented. I'm sure I'll still write about those things, but they'll stay in the drafts.

Thanks for the support. It's greatly appreciated.

Two More Stops

2006-06-07T01:22:00.000-05:00

You, in the back of the bus, practicing your mean face.

Look into my eyes and see me practicing my "you-don't-intimidate-me" face.

Two more stops and we'll be at your hotel.

And the inconvenience of this free transportation to your hotel will be over.

Enjoy your stay.

Current Playlist While Blogging

2006-06-04T23:44:00.000-05:00

It's a shame I only have water to drink. Writing while listening to Tom Waits begs for stronger stuff to complement it.

1. Tom Traubert's Blues - Tom Waits
2. Step Right Up - Tom Waits
3. Jitterbug Boy - Tom Waits
4. I Wish I Was In New Orleans - Tom Waits
5. The Piano Has Been Drinking, (Not Me) - Tom Waits
6. Invitation To The Blues - Tom Waits
7. Pasties And A G-String - Tom Waits
8. Bad Liver And A Broken Heart - Tom Waits
9. The One That Got Away - Tom Waits
10. Small Change - Tom Waits
11. I Can't Wait To Get Off Work - Tom Waits
12. Cinny's Waltz - Tom Waits
13. Muriel - Tom Waits
14. I Never Talk To Strangers - Tom Waits
15. A Sight For Sore Eyes - Tom Waits
16. Potter's Field - Tom Waits
17. Burma-Shave - Tom Waits
18. Barber Shop - Tom Waits
19. Foreign Affair - Tom Waits
20. Somewhere ('Form West Side Story') - Tom Waits
21. Red Shoes By The Drugstore - Tom Waits
22. Christmas Cards From A Hooker In Minneapolis - Tom Waits
23. Romeo Is Bleeding - Tom Waits
24. $29.00 - Tom Waits
25. Wrong Side Of The Road - Tom Waits
26. Whistlin' Past The Graveyard - Tom Waits
27. Kentucky Ave - Tom Waits
28. A Sweet Little Bullet From A Pretty Blue Gun - Tom Waits
29. Blue Valentines - Tom Waits
30. Heartattack and Vine - Tom Waits
31. In Shades - Tom Waits
32. Saving All My Love For You - Tom Waits
33. Downtown - Tom Waits
34. Jersey Girl - Tom Waits
35. Til The Money Runs Out - Tom Waits
36. On The Nickel - Tom Waits

Instead Of An IPOD, What?

2006-06-04T11:22:00.000-05:00

Not that I can afford one right now anyway, but my next "me" purchase will be some kind of portable digital music player. After reading bad stories about IPOD and their "defects are not our problem" policy, I thought I'd ask readers about what they use instead of IPOD and what they'd recommend.

I'm all ears.

Whatever You Say...Not

2006-05-28T12:33:00.000-05:00

Right at quitting time, at the end of a very noisy shift where I hardly had made any tips at all, a man flags me down and asks for luggage help. I do my thing and go outside and laod all of his stuff up onto a cart. As we are finishing up, he notices a friend who has also pulled up and tells him to put his stuff on my cart as well. Cool enough. There's room. I empty his car of his luggage and fill up the cart.

And now they park and I wait inside for them to come inside to check in. After several minutes of waiting, they come in, check in, socialize a bit, and give me their room numbers. Three different rooms, on three different floors. And the elevators are slammed with guests tonight. I tell them that I'll take the service elevator and meet them at their rooms. And in different directions we go. I make good time, but wait ten minutes for the first guest to get to his room.

He's the first guy I had helped. I get his stuff unloaded and he gives me a $5. No problem; sounds about right for a room. Then he says, "this is for all of us." Then I think to myself, "oh, hell no." You've heard Will Smith say that very phrase in movies. That's just the way it sounded in my head. No way will I work three rooms on three different floors for only $5. If the other guests offer more, I will absolutely accept. If they don't, then it's tough luck for me. But no way will I encourage it.

The good news is that they offered and I accepted. I stayed a bit late and made $15 in the process. Not bad at all. But I hate the gall of someone to talk big and tip small. I bet he makes scenes in restaurants.

Workplace Wisdoms

2006-05-28T12:26:00.000-05:00

My friend: I am definitely going to see The DaVinci Code this weekend.

Me: Really? I didn't think you'd be too interested in that.

My friend: Well, the church doesn't want me to see it. But the church also doesn't want me to watch porn...and I love porn.

My Girl

2006-05-26T00:57:00.000-05:00

Her name is Georgia and she is related pretty closely to the University of Georgia's famous mascot, UGA. My wife attended that school and is a rabid fan of all things UGA. Me, I have no emotional connection to the school. I just love my bulldog.

Alone Among So Many

2006-05-26T00:03:00.000-05:00

I don't remember how many weeks it's been.

I no longer make first moves, and so there are no moves.

And I am bitter, and increasingly short-tempered about it.

But I have my long work hours and my music at home.

Cue Richard Thompson...

Suburban Nomads, Doing It Again

2006-05-24T11:38:00.000-05:00

We're moving again. The stress has been huge, but it'll all work out I'm sure. To get closer to the workplaces and spend less gas and less time in cars, we decided to move from these suburbs to other suburbs in a surrounding county. This house was on the market for about a month or so and we spent some time looking for houses to buy and prayed that the transition would be as smooth as possible. It wasn't.

We had limited choices in our price range but did find a few that we liked. But we didn't put any offers on any houses until we got an offer on ours. Well, we got an offer on ours finally and stepped up the search for our new home. One good one fell through and so did another one. And our move out date got closer and closer. With pressure on the move, we expanded our search to other counties that were also close to our workplaces. We found ourselves with a much larger list of properties that matched our financial range, but ultimately the timing just didn't work out and the stress got the best of us.

And so we will go back to apartment living for about 7 months (weird lease length) and take a much needed break from the stress of finding a place for our lives. We'll get back into a house as soon as possible, but I bet moving into a smaller space will remind us how little of our stuff that we need. We'll put a lot of it into storage and won't miss it at all. My wife has seen the apartments and says that they look nice. It's almost right between our workplaces. We each used to drive thirty miles to work every day. Now, she'll drive about nine miles and I'll drive six. Sounds good to me.

I only dread the move itself. It'll be expensive and I don't have the long list of friends I had before marriage. Funny how life does that to some of us. So the lifting of heavy things will fall mainly on my shoulders. Should be fun. Maybe I'll proclaim this the Chinese year of Help Mike Move. We could all celebrate by...helping Mike move. Hmmm.

Hey, where'd everybody go?

From The Mouths Of Babes...Hot Babes

2006-05-18T11:05:00.000-05:00

Usually, the prostitutes who make their way to the elevators on late evenings at my hotel tend to hide behind the old "I'm here to visit my uncle" routine. Of course, we all know better but who are we to judge? Or rather, who am I to judge? I just want everyone to be happy and I am kind to everyone. I just tell them to have a nice night as they pass and I often wonder if they really think I buy their facade. There is sometimes a fine line between snarky and innocent.

Anyway, last night a girl entered the lobby and had that "look" about her. Dressed in the tightest of clothes, tattoos all about her prevalent skin, peroxided hair (except for an inch or two from the roots), and that indescribable look of her face and way that she carried herself. She was hotter than most and actually made eye contact with me (most look at the floor).
[I should be responsible and add that I don't think that tight clothes and tattoos mean anything at all. Those were just some details on top of the vibe I got that I usually get from the ladies who I know to be in that profession.]

Some are so ready for trouble that they give the tired old line even when it isn't even relevant to the exchange. "Have a nice night," I will say. "I'm just here to visit my uncle," they quickly reply. Um, OK. This lovely woman - I admit to being a bit transfixed by her - answered my well intentioned "have a nice night" with a genuine thank you. And just as she turned the corner and I looked to my concierge to ask him if he thought for sure that she was an escort or not, I hear her add at the elevator in a bawdy but still very feminine, "My night is just beginning!" And everything about how she said it said that she was about to get some and get paid.

I loved her from that moment on. She had no shame and certainly a lust for life. Sure enough, not twenty minutes later I was busy giving a guest directions and she came strolling back through the lobby. I nodded at her with a smile as she passed my belldesk and she returned it with a playful wink and out the door to her waiting driver she went. I wish her well. And I thank her for giving me the truth.

The Big Cheese Speaks

2006-05-17T01:33:00.000-05:00

As I do each night, I arrive home from work around midnight and walk my dog down my quiet suburban street. Tonight, with 24 oz. of Mike's Hard Lemonade in one hand and the long leash for my Georgia in the other, we amble down and continue longer than usual. The moon commands me to seemingly toward it. Unlike lately, it's this big Charlie Brown roundness, slightly yellow or orange. It's not exactly a full moon, but it's close enough. And for the first time since I was twelve years old, I think of the man in the moon. I almost see him.

I think even Georgia senses it. Her little English bulldog head, usually low to the ground, seeking out smells, is now almost looking upward, contemplating God. My career is shit and my future is aimless and this moon resonates for me like it knows I need it. And then I hear it.

It sighs. Not my dog. The moon.

My nose crinkles and I have stolen Renée Zellweger's copyright crinkled face. I widen my eyes and make my face my own again and look to the moon.

"I know you better than you know yourself," says the moon.

"I'm sorry?"

"You heard me."

Georgia sits in respect and I ask the moon what it means by that.

"You are sullen like the people you detest. You are them and moreso with each mile you drive. You hate that you live in suburbia and you wish that you lived in some stupid downtown loft with a stereo that plays only Tom Waits and a TV that only shows IFC. You think that you took the wrong path in life and you just don't stop whining about it.

"But from where I stand (as it were), you're just one of so many collections of atoms, crashing around in self-important reverence. You wish you were Picasso or Bruce Springsteen, but the truth of it is that there is a young black girl named Celia who lives 3,000 miles from you and hardly no one knows who she is. And guess what! She's got it all figured out.You make me laugh. You really do."

I look down at my dog and she is lying down with her eyes closed. Is she ashamed of me? Is the moon (or the man in it) really talking to me? This is all so real, but I don't dare tell this to anyone.

"Moon (or man in it), help me figure it all out!," I call out past the clouds above. But I receive no answer. It (he?) made the point. There is no reply. And I am only a man with his dog so many miles below, crashing around with so many other atoms and trying to figure it all out. I study the moon for a bit longer and see absolutely no trace of the man in it as I did before. It's just a moon again and Georgia is pulling me back toward my house. She needs to do her business.

I have learned nothing, but I do know that I will continue to read with passion and listen to as much beautiful music as I can. And I will do a better job of caring less about money and managers. But the thing is that it really bothers me that the moon laughs at me. This could change everything.

Another Bukowski Poem

2006-05-16T12:35:00.000-05:00

I Totally Agree

2006-05-16T01:22:00.000-05:00

Bukowski

2006-05-15T12:45:00.000-05:00

Bukowski - short poem read by me while the bath water rushes in the background

Pathetic, But I Bet I'm Not Alone In This

2006-05-14T22:17:00.000-05:00

I just sent myself a test email. I haven't gotten an email all day long and wanted to make sure there wasn't a problem with gmail.

It went through successfully, which means that I can't blame my empty email box on tech issues.

RenFest Pics To Follow

2006-05-14T11:51:00.000-05:00

I should be at the Tennessee Renaissance Festival later today. Camera in hand, batteries charged...

I love days like this.

(Weather permitting.)

It's The Acting, Stupid

2006-05-13T23:41:00.000-05:00

I love Tom Cruise. I just watched Magnolia again on IFC and just couldn't get enough of watching Tom's eyes as the misogynist, hurting son. He's a movie star among movie stars. I haven't watched M:i:III yet, but that is only because I don't have the money or the time for movies nowadays. When the DVD comes out, I'll be sure to watch it and focus on it as well as I can with two screaming kids running about my living room.

Tom's religion is not my religion. Big deal. His views are not my views but his profession is my passion. Everyone is sticking up for Brooke Shields lately after Mr. Cruise's attack on her views on post-partum depression and its treatments. That said, I imagine even Brooke finds herself channel surfing and stopping at Jerry Maguire and thinking, "I don't know about Tom Cruise, but Jerry Maguire sure could complete me." And who would fault her there? Dude looks great.

My Penis - Bukowski

2006-05-13T01:02:00.000-05:00

Hey Betty! You know I'm thinking of you with this video.

I'm An Open Book

2006-05-12T11:25:00.000-05:00

Click the pic only if you want to see this naturalist naked.

Is This What Aretha Was Singing About?

2006-05-12T10:18:00.000-05:00

This Ring Carries Me Through

2006-05-12T10:04:00.000-05:00

I love the strength I find in myself when I look at my wedding ring. It means so much to me and it reminds me so much of my commitment to keep on driving through life's challenges, big and small. I've got someone in my corner no matter what. And she's got me in hers. Awesome.

What's A Hangover Again? I Forgot How To Have One.

2006-05-12T09:21:00.000-05:00

Last night, I consumed more alcohol than I have in a couple of years. And so I was at peace with the hangover that was sure to follow. I didn't even do the smart thing and take Tylenol before bed with lots of water. Walking the steps to my bed at approximately 1:00 A.M., I knew that 5:00 would come too soon.

To my surprise, I awoke all by myself a few minutes before 5:00, feeling good and energized. My wife was getting ready in the bathroom and so I got to getting our kids ready for school. (Both of whom were also feeling good and energized.) By 6:00, they were all on their way to school and I forced myself back to bed. A couple of hours later, my eyes popped open again and I officially started my day. No headache, no grogginess, not even any pain in my leg from whatever was making it hurt so badly the night before (all signs point to shin splint).

The sky is beautiful, my mood is infectiously good, and Liz Phair is making my day. Next time I get drunk, I'll try to do it right. ;)

On A Night Like This...

2006-05-12T00:45:00.000-05:00

...if I wasn't so domesticated, I'd probably be incarcerated.

(Edit to add: I may be drunk, but I think that that is quite profound. And only Tom Waits has my permission to use it in a song.)

Sideways...Any Minute Now

2006-05-12T00:14:00.000-05:00

I don't remember the last time I felt as drunk as I do now. It's been so long that I am almost too shy to say how little alcohol it has taken to make me feel the way I do now.

Tonight, I suffered what I think is a shin splint. Hurts like hell, it does. (As Yoda would say.)
What Would Yoda Say? Or would the bracelet read: SYWW

More importantly, work was nice tonight. The hotel is full of truck drivers and I love them all. Not a pretentious asshole in the bunch. Some tip well, some just say thanks. But they are all nice people. When business people just say thanks, that's their way of choosing not to tip. But tonight's thank yous felt sincere. Like they just didn't know better. And for that, they get a free pass from me. A genuine thank you is a lot from them.

While driving home tonight, I passed a liquor store/beer store whose sign read simply: RESPECT BEER! I pulled over and took a picture. Maybe I'll post it later.

I've had a Liz Phair song in my head for the better part of the night. How it got there, I have no idea. I haven't heard it in months. But I love it. I think I walked with a swagger as a result. Or was it a strut?

Played with blogrolling a few minutes ago. Set up an account so that I can better link to people I like. Not sure what to do to get it onto my blog now. Maybe I'll revisit that challenge when sober.

I thought of two ex-girlfriends tonight. They were two of the best lovers I have ever had. And I wouldn't trust them with my stuff for anything. My wife, however...I trust her with all I have and all I am. For all of my complaints (some of them legit), it's important for me to remember that I can hardly do better in life than to have her by my side and in my life. My greatest honor is sharing a life with her. When I am feeling frustrated and tempted, the best gift I can give her is my patience and love. It's worth it and she's worth everything. It's an overused statement, but she's the genuine article. And we love each other.

That said, I still love to flirt. And so does she, so we're cool there.

This bottle's almost empty. One more left. Finish it while surfing some blogs, make peanut butter sandwich for my young son, and go to bed. Tomorrow will be busy and will start early. If it weren't for the hospital expenses, I would love to find myself resting in a hospital bed, relaxing, mending, not having to be anywhere or doing anything for a week or so. That's all I need. Just a little leisure time. And a little Nurse Betty fantasy to go with it.

Sleep well all. Except for this damn shin splint (I think), I feel good.

Me In My New Work Uniform

2006-05-10T11:58:00.000-05:00

I know it's trouble to show a pic of myself in my work uniform. Bloggers have been fired for doing such things in the past, but my readers are so cool that I think you all deserve to see the man behind the blog.

I do a lot of things at the workplace. I deliver your luggage to your room of course, but I do a lot of other things too. I make reservations for you at nice restaurants. I facilitate requests for limos. I do pretty much whatever you want. Just call for me and I'll be your hero. And I hope you have a nice stay.

Every day, I have to deal with crap like this...

2006-05-10T11:48:00.000-05:00

Everything is cool, I turn my back for a minute, and some hot young thing in a bikini is on my bellcart. How am I supposed to get any work done with days like these?

Bring On The Crazy Dreams

2006-05-07T01:13:00.000-05:00

I'm in a mood. I am finishing up a bag of Tostitos with hot salsa at 1:15 in the morning. I'm tired of beer so I bought a four-pack of strawberry daiquiris and am almost done with those as well. I can't wait to see if tonight's dreams top last night's dreams.

By the way, my new Playboy magazine came in and for the first time in what seems like years, I laughed out loud at one of their Party Jokes. Here goes:

A guy walked into a bar. The side of his face was bruised and bleeding, so the bartender asked, "What happened to you, buddy?"

The guy said, "Oh, I got into a fight with my girlfriend because I called her a cheap whore."

"Yeah?" asked the bartender. "What did she do?"

He replied, "She hit me with her bag of nickels."

Bits And Pieces

2006-05-06T01:31:00.000-05:00

I need inspiration. I've got nothing.

Lots of stuff happening here, but none of it more than usual suburbia stuff...which is nice, I suppose. House is on the market and someone put an offer on it today. We still haven't found one we want to buy though, so any sale is contingent on us buying one.

We've got new uniforms at work and I'm the only guy who likes them. Yes, they are a bit goofy looking, but the red bellman's jacket is a very bold color. And if bold translates to tips, then I don't care. This employee doesn't mind.

We recently hosted a conference of biologists. Next time you watch a movie or tv show and there is a hot female biologist, don't say that real female biologists are not that hot. The woman on the show or movie may very well be a model/actress, but I can tell you from experience that there are indeed lots of hot female biologists in the real world. Nice.

And now we have lots of doctors' wives. No surprise on the hotness factor there. Reminds me of a conversation I had a few years ago with a coworker. I said that I wish we had a convention of nothing but trophy wives, for no reason other than eye candy for us. I decided that they would be called the Trophy Wives Association of Tennessee, or T.W.A.T. for short. I never said that I was high-brow. ;-)

Ever use zillow.com? It uses public information to tell you all kinds of purchase info on homes across the U.S. Ever put in the address of your friends, your family members, your neighbors, your bosses? It's more fun than I am proud to admit.

Eleven Years As A Bellman...

2006-05-03T12:19:00.000-05:00

...and not once has a guest done this to me. Just to be able to say no to that would be all my ego needs. ;-)

Of course, I'm just looking for any excuse to post this picture. That guy's face is priceless.

A Post Not About Pills

2006-05-03T01:12:00.000-05:00

That last post reads like a real downer. So let's just move past it.

Tonight at work, I felt a touch of temptation. I'm serious about my fidelity but that doesn't mean that I don't notice oppotunities to be a bad boy.

So someone said sexy things to me that left the ball in my court. I just gave her a wink and told her to have a good night and I made my way home. It's easy to get frustrated when the sex life is not what it should be, but I'd rather be frustrated than be someone I don't respect. So, frustrated and faithful, is the man I was as I drove home to my family.

And then, ten minutes after getting home, my young son woke up and called out for me from the top of the stairs. I walked up to the top step and sat down with him and we discussed what he did at school that day. He is two years old and he told me about how he played with his friends and how he and his classmates practiced walking in a straight line for his daycare teacher. After we talked for a bit, I ushered my little guy back to bed where we read a book before I tucked him in for the night.

It's times like these where I know that every decision I have ever made in my life that has brought me to this point has been the exact perfect decision.

The Wrong Bottle

2006-05-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

While looking through a bag of mine today, I found a bottle of pills. I hoped that they were the ones I have used in the past for social anxiety, but alas they were the muscle relaxants. Well, they'll do.

And I think I'll call my doc for a refill for the others. Lots of stress these days.

Writer's Block?

2006-05-01T01:16:00.000-05:00

It'll pass. But right now, I've got nothing.

There's plenty to write about, I'm sure. But what?

At the airport yesterday, I saw a woman turn the corner pushing one of those airport luggage carts. The luggage was stacked to her height and she had to lean over to see where she was going. And then, right behind her I saw a man walking along. It became evident that he was with her. He and two young sons. The man was carrying a backpack and a duffle bag and the sons were carrying nothing. The man also happened to be wearing a sleeveless muscle shirt.

Did I mention that the lady was pushing a luggage cart with luggage stacked to her height and she had to lean over to see where she was going? Oy vey.

Take that, writer's block.

Lonely And Sad...

2006-04-30T01:49:00.000-05:00

...but it'll pass. And the music I am listening to now isn't helping anyway. Sometimes we just have to seek out a little loneliness and sadness. Just to know it.

What I want might not be what I need anyway. Thinking long term helps me in these moments.

This Bellman's Brain

2006-04-30T01:31:00.000-05:00

Or I just can't shake the sadness. Or the moodiness. Got pills?

"Living With War" by Neil Young sounds great. My long, taxing day of work makes me appreciate the love and peace he sings of so much more.

I have a boss who I have the hardest time reading. Sometimes we are tight, and sometimes he is a bully. Or maybe that's just my perception of him. He might be cooler more often than I think. I hate that I can't put my finger on the troubles we have staying on the same page. Either he is a terribly bad boss, or it's just something quirky about my brain that misfires when I'm around him.

It's certainly not me at my best. But I can't figure it out. If he didn't seem so morose and solemn and unhappy all of the time...

But whatever. The work is over and I am home listening to music. Life is back to good.

I'm A Lover, Not A Fighter

2006-04-27T18:11:00.000-05:00

However...

Recently, I read a story about how lots of white collar types are spending time in the ring. The deskwork is leaving some people with a need to do something completely different after hours and so they are seeking out the answer by putting on the gloves and sparring a bit, taking and giving punches, sweating just enough to feel alive.

And lately, I have found myself driving by a local training gym and wondering how it'd feel to get in that ring. The front of the gym is almost entirely glass and I see people doing their thing. And I wonder. I carry a lot of luggage at my work, but mainly I just tell people about local restaurants and hope my managers don't give me too much hell about my five o'clock shadow. Deep within, I know that I carry (and hide) a lot of stresses. I've blogged about it all before. And I drive by the gym a few more times and the feeling gets stronger.

I'll keep you posted.

Tom Waits Says...

2006-04-27T01:57:00.000-05:00

"I'd trade off everything just to have you near." - from Saving All My Love For You

It's just lonely. These fifty hour weeks.
And I see you maybe ten minutes a day.
Two hours on the weekends
maybe.

It's all for you and
it's all for us,
but all I want to do is wander
aimlessly around with you by
my side.

You Can't Win

2006-04-26T01:59:00.000-05:00

A few summers ago, I was shopping at Wal-Mart while on vacation in Florida. While I was wandering around in my flip-flops (Remember when we called them thongs? Imagine that last sentence again but with that word instead), I witnessed something that still stays with me. Someone in customer service did something right and got chewed out for it. That's a day in the life for yours truly.

A young kid (maybe six or so) started climbing a rack to reach a toy on the top shelf. An employee, in a very grandmotherly voice, got after him for it. "No, no! Don't climb on that please."

No one wants a six year old kid lying on the floor with a broken arm. If for no other reason than no one wants to be a big corporation facing a lawsuit for creating the situation where a kid could climb a shelf and fall in the process. So she says this to the kid and is coming over to him, maybe to help him down. But the second after she said the above to the kid, here comes mom and she is pissed. Not at her son, but at the poor worker.

"Don't you yell at my son!" "He's disabled and doesn't know better!" Blah, blah, blah.

The worker says, "Ma'am, I was only helping. Your son was in a potentially dangerous situation."

Mom, who watches too many bad retorts on too many bad TV shows replies, "Well, your job is in a dangerous situation now. I'm going to find your boss."

And with that, and with her angel in tow, she stormed off. Here I was, on vacation and my heart was racing just like it does so many times when I am at work and a customer is giving me hell when I am only doing what my bosses pay me to do. The worker and I share a glance and she gives me this shrug like it only bothers her a bit. It's like this kind of thing can't rattle her. She's been around in customer service for too many years for that.

In retrospect, I wish I had told her boss how it really went down. I guess I wasn't thinking clearly. Maybe I just wanted to get out of there and get back to my vacation. But judging by her reaction to it all, I think that she knew her boss had her back when it came to stuff like that. Or maybe she woke up that morning hoping to get fired from a job she hated. Either way, I wish her well.

What reminded me of this was a post by Brico over at Rusty Nut Telegraph. Thanks for the memories, Brico.

Taste Test

2006-04-26T01:52:00.000-05:00

Samuel Adams Brown Ale, not as good as Samuel Adams Boston Lager.

Restless Tonight

2006-04-24T02:26:00.000-05:00

My head is swirling with thoughts and memories of my sexual experiences. I've had some wonderful times, but I keep coming back to this one memory where I didn't have sex at all. It was with a girlfriend of mine. I had just finished my shift at the record store and I had about twenty minutes to kill before I headed out to my other job. She worked across the street from the record store and had just finished her workday.

We sat in her car in the parking lot for a bit and casually talked about our weekend plans. When it was just about time for me to leave, I leaned in for a kiss. That kiss lasted several minutes and was as passionate as anything I had ever experienced. Even tonight, some eleven years later, it still resonates. That one kiss, literally took the breath from me. There was no fondling or heavy petting that I can recall. It was just a kiss, but I still get a bit weak in the knees when I think about it.

It's not like I miss her. We had a very high maintenance relationship and we fought as hard as we loved. It was healthy for both of us to move on. But that one kiss...

That's a nice memory.

Meant To Be?

2006-04-24T01:54:00.000-05:00

Several recent dreams all hinge around me working at the place I keep referring to as my dream job. In last night's dream, I was working out in a health club in a hotel and talking to a pilot about my grandfather who was a pilot for the Air Force.

I woke up wondering how that dream came about. Apparently, I really want to be a flight attendant. It's less about the job itself and more about how flight attendants make more money than me and how they get to fly for free wherever they want to go.

And today, I ran into a pilot for that airline. We talked a bit and he encouraged me to apply soon. He said I'd be great at it and he would love for me to be a part of his crew sometime.

OK, I can take a hint. I'm going for it.

What You Listening To?

2006-04-24T01:10:00.000-05:00

I'm sucking on a beer and listening to "Pussy Power" by Iggy Pop.

What a great song to play loudly.

Truth At The Adult Book Store

2006-04-23T06:53:00.000-05:00

Britni at Young, Willing, and Eager tells a brief tale about a moment of clarity that she witnessed at her workplace. I love her blog. Here's the post.

Name That Source

2006-04-22T08:54:00.000-05:00

1. "I need your help to make it hot."

a) Adult film or b) Dora The Explorer

2. "I don't think that's really a banana."

a) Adult film or b) Dora The Explorer

(Edit to add: Both quotes were from Dora. The way my mind works, I hear stuff that way all of the time.)

Tonight I Am Listening To Peter Himmelman...

2006-04-22T02:20:00.000-05:00

...and I'm wearing my shirt on top of my head.

One Way

2006-04-22T02:00:00.000-05:00

What the picture does not reveal is that the man bearing the sign (and its message) also held a megaphone and preached as he walked all about my city's downtown during the busy lunch hour.

Also, the picture does not reveal the ventriloquist's dummy that he held and manipulated as he spoke the words of wisdom. Try as I might, I could not keep from grinning from ear to ear at that sight. Hearing about how my soul hangs by a thread by a little wooden dummy was just too surreal for me.

A Question Posed That Stuck With Me

2006-04-21T00:45:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, a customer asked me a question that didn't bore me. We've all heard (and used) the same safe conversation starter questions before. "Where are you from?" "What do you do?"

This customer asked the following: "What's the last fun thing you did?"

Now that's a great question. So I'll throw it out to any and all readers to comment with their answers. And pretend you were like me and at work. So, that means no sex answers. That would just be a no-brainer anyway. But if you had to say something and it wasn't sex, what would your answer be?

I Need A Bukowski Weekend

2006-04-20T10:48:00.000-05:00

I love his writings, but I have fallen behind.

I haven't read Come On In!: New Poems
I haven't seen Bukowski: Born Into This
And I haven't seen Factotum, starring Matt Dillon as Henry Chinaski.

Factotum hasn't played in my city and it's not out on DVD yet. So I'll give myself a pass on that one.

Still, I used to attack that stuff as soon as I could get to it. Now I just "get around to the good stuff." That's cool though. The better stuff gets my best efforts - wife, kids, mortgage, etc.

When I get my skinny fingers on the above three things, I'm inviting my Bukowski loving friend over for a marathon. I trust that she'll bring the appropriate libations along.

Today (if I get around to it), I will pick up the following from my library:

Drinking with Bukowski : recollections of the poet laureate of Skid Row / edited by Daniel Weizmann
What matters most is how well you walk through the fire / Charles Bukowski
Bukowski at Bellevue [videorecording]

And late fees be damned. I'm holding onto these until I get through them all.

Great Book Title

2006-04-19T01:03:00.000-05:00